we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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