Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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