I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
