I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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