The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
