it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
