The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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