You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
