the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
