I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
