She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
