Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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