ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
