Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
