Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
