Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
