Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
