i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
