Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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