I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
