Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
