glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i dont even know how to be here
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
