I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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