Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
