Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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