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apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
