dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
