I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
