so explain again why im purple
no
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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