It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
