we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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