we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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