My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So vagazzling was a success
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