we made out on top of his cat.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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