I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
