I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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