Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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