How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
