did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just forgot I was standing up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
