How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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