This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
