My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
