she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We are all done wearing pants today
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
