He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
