I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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