can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
