Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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