I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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