I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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