I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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