Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize