So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
