it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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