im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
