Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
