Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
