He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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