im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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