Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
