I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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