Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
